The mechanic raised up from under my hood, 'n-He shook his head and said: "This ain't good; Your timin' belt's done shrunk one size too small; And those spark plug wires are a little too long, And your main prodsponder's nearly gone; Your injector ports are stripped, and that ain't all...
...Your torque converter's runnin' low on torque, And that water pump's nearly down a quart; We caught it all in time, so you're in luck." He said, "I've got the time, and I've got the parts, Just give me the word, and I'm ready to start; I think we can bring her in for-uh, eight-hundred bucks.
But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny; It won't take too long, it'll just take money."
Then he said, "Aren't you that songwriter guy?" 'n-I said, "Yes I am." He said, "So am I." He set down and played me a song by the grease rack; When he finished singin' he gave me a smile, And I closed my eyes and pondered a while; 'n-he said, "What do you think? Now don't hold nothin' back."
Well I gave him my most sorrowful look, And I said, "This song's got a broken hook; 'n-I can order you a new one from Nashville, but it won't be cheap; And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus, 'Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus, Now your verse is runnin' on verbs that are way too weak.
But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny; It won't take too long, it'll just take money."
'n-I said, "Hold on friend, Now I'm not through; I hate to be the one, to give you this news, But your whole melodic structure's done worked itself loose; It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it, I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute; I mean, that's just me talkin', it's really up to you...
...'n you've got a bad safety problem, With that dominant chord, with the augmented fifth, Just see how dangerously high it raises you up; So just go on over and work on my car, And I'll sit here by the fan, and chances are, I can straighten this thing out for eight-...uh, nine-hundred bucks.
But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny; It won't take too long..."