Nicky: Help the homeless! Help the homeless! Ooh! Hey Princeton!
Give me a quarter! Here in my hat! Come on, Princeton! It’s as easy as that! Helping others brings you Closer to God. So give me a quarter...
Princeton: I don’t have any change.
Nicky: Hmmm....okay.
Give me a dollar.
Princeton: That’s not what I meant.
Nicky: Give me a five.
Princeton: Are you kidding?
Nicky: The more you give. The more you get. That’s being alive! All I’m asking you Is to do what Jesus Christ would do. He’d give me a quarter, Why don’t you?
Princeton: All right, all right, here you go.
Nicky: Ahh, thanks!
Princeton: Take care. Whoa!
Nicky: What’s the matter?
Princeton: I feel generous! I feel compassionate!
Nicky: You do?
Princeton: Yeah! I feel like a new person - a good person! Helping other people out makes you feel fantastic!
Nicky: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you-
Princeton: All this time I’ve been running around thinking about me, me, me - and where has it gotten me! I’m gonna do something for someone else!
Nicky: Me?
Princeton: No - Kate! I’m going to raise the money to build that stupid Monster School she’s always talking about!
Give me your money!
Nicky: What?
Princeton: I need it for Kate!
Nicky: I need it to eat!
Princeton: Come on, Nicky!
Nicky: Aww, get lost!
Princeton: It’ll make you feel great!
Nicky: So would a burger!
Princeton: When her dream comes true, It’ll all be partly Thanks to you So give me your money!
Nicky: I’d like to, but I can’t.
Princeton: Give me your money!
Nicky: I’d like to, but I need it!
Princeton: Give me your money!
Nicky: I’d like to, but I’m homeless! I can’t! I need it! I’m homeless! I can’t! I need it! I’m homeless! I can’t! I need it! I’m homeless! Okay, here you go.
Princeton: Thank you!
Nicky: Suddenly, I am feeling Closer to God. It’s time to stop begging It’s time to start giving! What can I give to Rod?
Something he’ll like so much he’ll take me back. Ooh, I know! I’ll find him a boyfriend!
Princeton: That’s the spirit!
Both: When you help others, You can’t help helping yourself! When you help others, You can’t help helping yourself!
Gary Coleman: Hey boys, what’s the hat for?
Nicky: Ooh, we’re collecting money!
Princeton: It’s for Kate! We’re raising money to help build her dream school!
Give us your money!
Nicky: You’ll be glad that you did!
Gary Coleman: That’s just what my parents told me When I was a kid.
Shit.
Nicky: But giving feels so great...
Gary Coleman: And I bet it wouldn’t hurt Your chances with Kate.
Princeton: Well, that too.
Gary Coleman: I’ll give you a dollar.
Princeton: You’re a gentleman And a scholar.
Christmas Eve: We so happy! We just exchange all your wedding gifts for cash!
Brian: Honey, don’t tell THEM that!
Christmas Eve: We get about 2,000 bucks!
Brian: Uh, yeah, so - thanks, everybody!
Christmas Eve: We rich!
Princeton: Give us your money!
Nicky: Give us your money!
Gary Coleman: Give us your goddamn money!
Princeton: Give us the dough!
Nicky/Gary Coleman Give us the dough!
Princeton/Nicky/Gary Coleman We’re raising money For a Monster School But we’ve got a ways to go.