[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! BRUCE BANNER! VS! BRUCE JENNER! BEGIN!
[Verse 1: Bruce Banner] I'll school you in this battle of the baddest Bruce With your He-Man haircut and your Daisy Dukes I hear you're good at running, you're just like the Flash Especially in the hundred meter ditch your wife dash! I'm ace in the lab, acid, base, and treble So let me break you down on a molecular level You turned one gold medal to a lifetime of green The most overrated athlete anyone's ever seen You need to carry fatherhood across the finish line (AAGHH) Kept up with the Kardashians, but left some kids behind Run along you'll thank me cause I'm getting kind of cranky Trust me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry
[Verse 2: Bruce Jenner] I think you're in your element when you're behaving badly Honestly you're kind of a Boron when you're happy I'll lap and pass your ass ten different ways Decathlon athlete, blast through you like some gamma rays The truth is, there’s no truce between the Bruces You’re a drifter being useless, I’m a winner, no excuses (uh) Beautiful women all up on my jock I got a home gym, check me on a cereal box, doc You big green freak, don’t try to flex If it wasn’t for your cousin, you’d never have sex (oh!) You’re so strong when you get mad Too bad you can’t go back to protect your mom from your dad
[Verse 3: The Hulk] Ahhh! That painted face don't give you class Just one more thing Bruce do for cash Best thing you make? Kylie ass She eighteen? Hulk smash!
[Verse 4: Caitlyn Jenner] That’s my teenage daughter, man, I have to forbid this I’ll put a javelin through your jolly green discus Kylie not the type of girl I wanna let you smash on You’ll get the medal without the decathlon
[Verse 5: The Hulk] (Ahh!) Hulk is Hulk, no identify as man Me thinks Cait might understand No gender issue, this Jenner issue Cause you being you is enough to diss you
[Verse 6: Caitlyn Jenner + The Hulk] Look, I understand that you hate yourself (Huh?) But you don’t need to blame yourself You a tiger, stop trying to tame yourself You gotta be big enough to contain yourself Get hit with a little forgiveness Be green, that ain’t none of my business But if you think you’re looking good in those torn-ass clothes You’re lyin', which means you need a new wardrobe (Oh) The vision of those shorts kinda scarred me What, you just rage at a Barney-themed party? That’s probably not something you seen as a child Not one day did you see your daddy smile Hulk not strong enough to deal with denial Laying you down easy, that’s kitchen tile (Uh!) Examine this under your microscope You got no neck but you still fucking choked After battling me, you’re gonna always be pissed So the Hulk will stay forever, neither Bruce will exist
[Outro] WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!