SHAWN There's a town On the coast On the path of Father Serra Wealthy white guys in boats Called the "U.S. Riviera"
With a dark, dirty secret That's soon to be unfurled It's the murder capital of the world
And this town Needs a man who can Stop this reign of terror Catching bad guys like flies
GUS When he's given room for error.
SHAWN A man who sees clues Almost if they were alighting Gets accused to confess Cause his hair is so exciting And though his attire's informal His skills are paranormal La la la la la la Hoodilly-hoo Hoodilly-hoo
A cop I am not I'm just good at observation But with short cuts
GUS And cons.
SHAWN And the proper presentation They believe That I can Raise a finger to my head See the past Read a mind And can mingle with the dead And sure my girl's deceived But that web's already weaved Woven? Weevied?
SHAWN and GUS Woved!
SHAWN The key is that I'm in too deep to turn back now So I tell these lies Under Santa Barbara skies The truth Is a slippery slope to tread When you're over your head I do What I have to for the common good I'm misunderstood And I'd come clean If I only could Yeah But I can't
GUS You mean you won't
SHAWN It's the same
GUS Not even close
SHAWN Just don't ask
GUS I didn't ask
SHAWN It was implied
GUS Define "implied" You don't know
SHAWN Yes, I know And I really don't Care
Gus Someone's bound to expose Funny business we're conducted
SHAWN Lighten up We're all good
GUS Would you please stop interrupting? All I know is just me Always cleaning up your mess While your hair gets the credit Getting people to confess
SHAWN That's why I moisturize Under Santa Barbara skies
GUS The truth Of the matter Is that it's all good fun till an eye comes out I do What I have to for my own safety and legality Cause technically It's a felony
SHAWN It's just a fib
GUS It's a crime
SHAWN They won't care
GUS Yes, they'll mind And we'll probably do time
SHAWN Over there is my dad Here to offer his assistance
GUS With occasional resistance
SHAWN So we face it alone All this dark and dirty scheming Hope it's not like the time When my partner went of screaming