A history of stillness, a blood-line of mental illness I'd rather be a fraud and be happy than be known as the realist Till the same dark day for my mother and my mother's mother And Brooks; I can't get out of bed but I can write hooks Wife's a maniac but she's the only one that's still around Three in the afternoon on the sunny day layin' on the ground I want to feel the way I felt when I was layin' with my dad But I don't know if I want it that bad I think about what I don't have Five days a week sad, other two just mad Six in the mornin' in the back of a cab And I don't know if I want it that bad It ain't non-stop to heaven there's a lay-over in hell And I've been sittin' here for ten years talkin' and sayin' on the cell You gotta be kiddin' me, I ain't signed up for this And you wonder why Steaknife got scars on his wrist's My heart got a black eye Sometime I get scared that I might cry Why do I pretend that I'm not shy Sometime all I can do is just stay high I think about what I don't have Five days a week sad, other two just mad Six in the mornin' in the back of a cab And I don't know if I want it that bad What I've lost and what I've seen All in order to fulfill my dreams Thought I had to be like my dad But I don't know if I want it that bad Water-fountains to the sidewalk, talk Can't to myself but I can't stop The up and down and up and down, smilin' to a frown Town to town, same scenery, same sound Don't my know skank when I wake so I sleep late Everywhere I go I'm still there I can't shake Me and my mind L.I. Ice Teas and Three or four lines and now I'm fine Maybe not My head in my hands again You know where I've been My head in my hands again My head in my hands again You know where I've been My head in my hands again My head in my hands again Do you know where I've been I think about what I don't have Five days a week sad, other two just mad Six in the mornin' in the back of a cab And I don't know if I want it that bad Sun comin' up and I need some sleep Eyes are red and I'm feeling weak I can out do you and I can out do me But all that I really want is peace What I've lost and what I've seen All in order to fulfill my dreams Thought I had to be like my dad But I don't know if I want it that bad But I don't know if I want it that bad My head in my hands again My head in my hands again