Princess Rap Battle: Maleficent vs. Daenerys Targaryen
MALEFICENT Well, well, oh dear, what an awkward situation I’m quite distressed to not receive at least an invitation To your kneeling supplication: I’m the rhyming ruination That will put your puny nation in suspended animation
DAENERYS I am Daenerys Stormborn, First of My Name You can call me Khaleesi The Breaker of Chains You’re insane bringing battle, why you diggin’ your own grave? I’ll snap ya like the collar on a free city slave
MALEFICENT You know, I’m just so delighted by your family’s bad luck A curse would be useless: you already suck First daddy went mad, then you killed your own mother Hothead brother was murdered by the husband you smothered DIAVAL: Well, all men must die M: I wish that they would The truth is I’m ruthless - I make bad look good Medieval evil with a needle, lethal, lyrical as well Illinest villainess who’s killin’ this with all the powers of Hell
DAENERYS Oh, whatever Elvira, you call that a verse? You’re a fairy-tale bully: find an infant to curse And what’s your obsession with fingers and pricks? Forget spinning wheels, you should conjure some dicks These hocus pocus jokers best get out of our grills The only thing mad about me is my skills GREY WORM: Like a sword through your heart let this point sink in MISSANDEI: This hottie freed the slaves D: Call me Babe-raham Lincoln
MALEFICENT Eat your heart out, sweetie DIA: Better start counting sheep M: We’ll be scoring while you’re snoring in perpetual sleep No privates in your army? DIA: That’s crazy M: It’s nuts You all show so much ass it should be called Game of Butts Isn’t it scary when you’re forced into marryin’ Surrounded by hairy men and losin’ your cherry then Your baby’s miscarryin’ - Bargain Barbie Barbarian Like the last dead Valyrian I will bury house Targaryen
DAENERYS If you’re so powerful then answer me this: What kind of crap magic gets destroyed by a kiss? All in black with those horns? You look like a burnt goat MISS: It’s done GW: Stick a fork in her D: That’s all she wrote Show’s over, soon you’ll be a feast for crows Jon Snow knows these bozos got no flows and although I rose from the ashes GW: Now a force you can’t stop MISS: She started from the bottom D: Now I finish on top
MALEFICENT You think that was hot? It’s not even warm Come to my world and see my true form I like your style, kid, but it’s time to retire Spoiler alert: I’m about to spit fire
DAENERYS I’m The Mother of Dragons, you can’t burn me! The best don’t rest - it’s my destiny So send me back home, I’ve an empire to build or You’ll scream when you die like the last witch I killed