I wanted much to go to war, And went to be examined; The surgeon looked me o'er and o'er, My back and chest he hammered. Said he, "You're not the man for me, Your lungs Are much affected, And likewise both your eyes are cock'd, And otherwise defected." CHORUS So, now I'm with the Invalids, And cannot go and fight, sir! The doctor told me so, you know, Of course it must be right, sir! While I was there a host of chaps For reasons were exempted, Old "pursy", he was laid aside, To pass he had attempted. The doctor said, "I do not like Your corporosity, sir! You'll "breed a famine" in the camp Wherever you might be, sir!" CHORUS There came a fellow, mighty tall, A "knock-kneed overgrowner", The Doctor said, "I ain't got time To take and look you over." Next came along a little chap, Who was 'bout two foot nothing, The Doctor said, "You'd better go And tell your marm you're coming!" CHORUS Some had the ticerdolerreou, Some what they call "brown critters", And some were "lank and lazy" too, Some were too "fond of bitters". Some had "cork legs" and some "one eye", With backs deformed and crooked, I'll bet you'd laugh'd till you had cried, To see how "cute" they looked. CHORUS