MISS SHINGLE: Have you heard of the D'Ysquith family?
MONTY: The D'Ysquiths? Why, yes, of course. Hasn't everyone?
MISS SHINGLE: Then you've heard of Highhurst Castle.
MONTY: Of course.
MISS SHINGLE: You're aware, then, of their position, their vast wealth and influence?
MONTY: Yes, yes. What's it got to do with me?
MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith
MONTY: What?
MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith
MONTY: No.
MISS SHINGLE: Ha ha, oh.
The D'Ysquith blood is flowing through you
MONTY: Me, a D'Ysquith?
MISS SHINGLE: A genuine bona fide D'Ysquith
MONTY: Rubbish.
MISS SHINGLE: Of course, of course Ya don't believe me, do you?
MONTY: You must be mad.
MISS SHINGLE: Very well, then. If your mother was not a D'Ysquith, what was her maiden name?
MONTY: She always insisted that the only name that mattered (whispered) was my fathers.
MISS SHINGLE: Your mother Lived like a princess in every way The daughter of Lord Maximillian Till she met your father one fateful day She knew it was love - and yet
The family decleared she'd been led astray By a climbing, conniving Castilian "Oh let him go Or else you'll know A life you will live to regret"
This was no idle threat
"You're a D'Ysquith Your A perfectly breedable D'Ysquith And a D'Ysquith does her duty Don't forget"
There was nothing your mother could say She eloped with your father the very next day
MONTY: So she was... disinherited?
MISS SHINGLE: In a word. Yes. Despicable, the lot of them.
MONTY: How awful.
MISS SHINGLE: Your mother Made me promise I'd never tell But now she is no longer living She wanted to spare you her private hell But I think you deserve to know
Take this knowledge and use it well The family may yet be forgiving
This will guarantee You've a right to be On the family tree And it seems to be Indisputably Head to toe
You're a D'Ysquith A D-apostrophe-Y-squith A-there can be No other way to view it Montague, you're a D'Ysquith
MONTY: I'm all of a sudden a D'Ysquith
MISS SHINGLE: Yes! And it's time That everybody knew it
A-you are the son of the daughter Of the grandson Of the nephew Of the second Earl Highhurst, Your turn
MONTY: I am the son of the daughter Of the...
BOTH: The grandson (MONTY: Oh, sorry.) Of the nephew Of the second Earl of Highhurst
MONTY: The thought occurred: why should I believe a woman who might very well be insane? And yet, there seems to be an air of authenticity to this document.
I'm a D'Ysquith (MISS SHINGLE: You're a D'Ysquith) It would seem I'm a D'Ysquith