Lily:
Do you know what’s in his room? Books, hundreds of books under lock and key.
Carney:
Well, there it is.
Books! They’re at the root of it.
Books! You know they’re dangerous.
All that junk piled up in your flat.
Here, have some more…
Lily:
Not only that. He cooks
Revolting foreign things.
Carney:
Cooks?
Lily:
Can you imagine it?
Plates of stuff with parsley on top!
Here, let me pour…
Carney:
I’ll have a drop.
Both:
But
Books! It isn’t natural,
Just think how bad it looks –
To peek through the crack
And meet with a stack
Of books!
Lily:
By rights, Mister Carney, Alfie should be married and out of the house.
Carney:
My sentiments exactly! And then it’ll just be us, Mr. and Mrs. William Carney. Ah, Lily, I wouldn’t stay out of the house…
If it was me, I’d be home at five with some chops, or liver, or ham,
And every single Sunday we would have lamb.
Lily:
Lamb…
Carney:
We’d take a stroll, watching people pass,
And at Mass we’d share the same pew,
Oh, that’s what I’d like to do,
Ah, Lily…
Lily:
Don’t lose your head –
Not till he’s wed.
Some days
I wonder where he got such queer and foreign ways.
Carney:
He got it from all the smut that he reads,
You know where smut eventually leads…
Lily:
His manly impulses all bottled up.
Carney:
Well, that’s why the poor sod cooks.
Both:
The man needs a wife
To ruin his life,
Not books!
Books!
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