When I was a boy There was no limit on what I could eat Shake after shake after shake after shake Followed by all kinds of red meat Metabolism runnin' around so fast My body never gained no weight That pissed off all my Momma's friends And made my big-boned sister irate But now I'm a man
And all that food frolicking has caused my ego to hurt 'Cause even when I'm in the shower alone I'm too embarrassed to remove my shirt What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay Made a fat mother-fucker outta me What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay Made a fat mother-fucker outta me And all them cookies I been munching lately My feets are becoming difficult to see I believe it was my Daddy Who led to this eating disease By calling me "The Little Candy-ass" When I couldn't finish a burger with cheese Or maybe it was my Momma
Who got me addicted to the wrong foods Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet Would I get to see Momma's good moods They said eat this, they said eat that To stay skinny there was no chance And now when I walk I hear corduroy Even though I ain't wearing pants What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay Made a fat mother-fucker outta me (You fat fuck, you fat fuck) What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay Made a fat mother-fucker outta me (You fat fuck, you fat fuck) And all that ice cream I been eatin' lately My chins alone weigh 203 The diet starts tomorrow! I have a grapefruit for breakfast For lunch a bowl of white rice Dinnertime it's a saltless potato I ain't allowed no spice If this diet's gonna work Tonight I can't eat no more "Just go to sleep," I say to myself As I close the bedroom door Two in the morning, I wake up to piss My belly's hungry and achin' Tiptoe to the kitchen, fuck the diet Bring on the chips flavored with bacon What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay Made a fat mother-fucker outta me What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay Make a tub o' shit outta me And all them crumb-cakes I been eating lately I shoulda bought stock in Sara Lee