It all seemed so long ago Young and happy don't you know Down by the creek I would show fireflies to that girl But that was back when he was nice Before my warm heart turned to ice My sister's wig once had lice But that was long ago The school yard's where we were the first time I kissed her He thought he got some tongue But it was only retainer Eleanoar's bra is a trainer Well, there's my family home And the woods we used to roam The only time I had sex was on the phone But that was long ago I carved our names upon that tree I loved him and he loved me My darling wife was once a he But that was long ago He used to whisper in my ear But then I started drinkin' beer My jewels got licked by six frisky deer But now he's just a loner and a liar And my trailers caught on fire