If the world was square he'd walk right off the edge If the sea was beer he'd probably sign the pledge He's an awkward lad and he won't get out of bed Lazy Eddie, he's got a steady And his girlfriend really can't see the wood for trees She couldn't spell her name when she took her G.C.E.s And the only time she's thunk she's thunk about the birds and bees She has a baby from the navy England my England, my my We are your children, Oh England don't cry And his Mum is a cleaner at the Co-op bakery She saves all her wages for a Japenese TV To please her old man who is struggling on the dole Supports United, the fools delighted That on an island built on coal and with oil beneath the sea We've struggled to get by and we've joined the E.E.C. And if you want a steady job you can take a tip from me Work for the union, long live confusion.