I feel so confident right now As my friends all ask me how They throw an item or utilize the drift My character of choice is Yoshi He's good off-road but mostly I play him 'cause he's cute, I'll admit
The race starts... and I stalled! I stalled the car again I held "A" down a bit too early And all my mates are laughing As they drive right past me And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
And now I'm stuck in 12th place I'm gonna lose this race Trailing in Donkey Kong's tyre tracks So I get a power-up I don't expect too much But oh my god, Bullet Bill – now I'm back!
In first place in no time And my mates can't see why Nintendo would make a game that's so unfair They're feeling pretty angry But I'm just princess peachy I'm winning, so I don't really care
But someone gets a blue shell! And I crash The kart flips over again Why don't they put a wall there!? Nothing I could do but watch it roll into the sea And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
I'm still in the lead But they're catching up to me I'll get a power-up and I'll be fine Another banana skin Upside-down boxes wearing thin I think I had more fun when I was behind
This is the only game I've played Where winning just feels lame And losing is where all the fun takes place And there are no red shells for me All I have is apathy For this never-ending, three-lap funless race
Race ends – and I'm SECOND?! I lost the race again How did he get invincibility? Fucking Waluigi stole my victory And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
And everybody sings: Do do do, do do do-do do Do do do, do do do-do do Do do do, do do do-do do Do do do, do Do do do, do do do-do do Do do do, do do do-do do Do do do, do do do-do do Do do do, do