Hello muddah, hello faddah Here I am at Camp Granada Camp is very entertaining And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.
I went hiking with Joe Spivy He developed poison ivy You remember Leonard Skinner He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.
All the counselors hate the waiters And the lake has alligators And the head coach wants no sissies So he reads to us from something called Ulysses.
How I don't want this should scare ya But my bunkmate has malaria You remember Jeffrey Hardy They're about to organize a searching party.
Take me home, oh muddah, faddah Take me home, I hate Granada Don't leave me out in the forest where I might get eaten by a bear.
Take me home I promise I will not make noise Or mess the house with other boys. Oh please don't make me stay I've been here one whole day.
Dearest faddah, darling muddah, How's my precious little bruddah Let me come home, if you miss me I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me.
Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing. Guys are swimming, guys are sailing Playing baseball, gee that's better Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter.