American Dad - Steve Song | Текст песни

• Тексты песен
• American Dad
• Steve Song

3:30 in the afternoon,
I should be doing my homework, inside my own room but,
Bad luck, got me all messed up,
I'm in the locker room and now I'm stuck,
Guess I'm a goner now,
See I was walkin', snot was talkin' I remembered somethin',
I'd forgotten to grab my wallet because I was rushin',
Then he said \"I'd finna go to my Grandma's house\"
I shrugged and I turned around,
Back to the school but then who did I found?
Mertz!
Oh no,
This is not who I wanna see,
Was running till I saw an opening,
And now the whole soccer team's bound to freak,
She's approaching the locker,
They're done practicing soccer,
She's opening the locker,
Wish there was some way to block her.

So these girls pull me outta the locker talkin' bout \"What the hell you doin' up in here?\"
I'm like \"Hold up b** you need to lower your voice do I make myself clear?\"
She like \"Woah, who you callin' a b**?\"
I'm like \"You\"
She like \"Who?\"
I'm like \"You, b**, wait hold up let me explain all the shit I've been going through, now let's start over my name's Steve it's nice to meet you ladies\"
\"Cut that bullcrap Steve we know that you been acting shady, so listen close, cause this is what we are gonna do, when somebody's creepin' we call in Jewel\"
\"Not Jewel\"
\"Yes Jewel\"
Oh no, Jewel looks like a grown-ass man, 14 years old, at least 250 pounds, she's comin' at me, and this is when things start to get foolish, the roof caved in, on top of her, oh my god it's Lewis!

3:47 in Principal Lewis' room, this fool is havin' a panic attack, I hope this is over soon, he was talkin' bout \"Budget cuts, no pest control for months, I wasn't pervin' or lookin' at butts, I was in the AC man huntin' for rats I swear to god\"
\"Man that's your business not my business I don't need no update\"
\"I got a new woman so we need to get our story straight\"
\"We? What the f*** you talkin' bout man there's no we\"
\"Steve if my new woman hear bout this man she gon' leave\"
Achoo
\"Wait, what the heck was that? Sounded like a rat\"
Then he pulled out a Jericho 9 millimetre started bustin',
bang bang bang bang bang
And just when I thought it couldn't get more scary, when he opened the door, the rat turned out to be Secretary Mary!

So I'm speedin' down the street reachin' for my phone about to have a fit,
I'm calling the one dude who can help me out of this mess,
ring
\"Come on Snot I need you to pick up the damn phone right now\"
ring
And the next part's so jacked up that it hurts,
ring
The dude that picked up wasn't Snot, it was... Mertz!
Hello?
I'm trippin', what the heck is goin' on?
Maybe I called the wrong number, and got the wrong phone but,
The doors are open,
Smells like potpourri,
I walk in and what do I see?
Snot and Mertz, playin' Risk!
\"I'm betrayed, my favourite game you're playin' with that bully? What now y'all close- wait, gasp you're drinkin' milk and cookies!\"
Snot was like \"Listen\"
\"No no, no no no!\"
\"I can explain\"
\"Well then go ahead and explain yourself\"
Then Mertz jumped up said \"I'll explain so that you two will cool it, see his dad died and my dad died and Risk is therapeutic\"
I was like \"Amen\"
Snot was like \"Amen to that\"
\"I love Risk\"
\"I love Risk too\"
\"Damn y'all bonded over Risk that's beautifu-\"
Principal Lewis kicked in the door, waving a 44, talkin' bout \"Don't speak don't move no more\"
Then Snot's mom came in and said \"Lewis baby put down that gun and uncock it\"
And that's when we noticed,
They was wearing...the very same locket!

Now we all on the floor feelin' clueless,
It's hard to believe that Snot's mom was bangin' Lewis
Then Lewis says \"It's been a hell of a day, I'm glad this whole thing is out-wait, why you wearin' a negligee? How'd you even know that you was fittin' to see me, and whose clothes are those thrown over the TV?\"
And Snot's mom was like \"Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-th\"
Stutterin' all over the place,
And Lewis says \"Girl unless you got Parkinson's start talkin' straight\"
\"Baby is everything okay?\"
\"Wait hold up, I know this ain't the dude that's the reason for the cabaret lingerie\"
Then Lewis starts wavin' his gun around and bustin' shots off in the closet,
Then Greg fell out cried \"Avery, how could you be so dishonest?!\"
Snot's mom screamed,
Now Greg's pager's flashing blue, he says \"My bae's got a clue!\"
Next thing his man is in the room,
7 minutes later 12 adults with they guns out,
Talkin' bout \"You f**ked her and I f**ked him\" while they all scream and shout
But then,
Principal Lewis started laughin',
Just sittin' there gigglin' to himself, just laughin',
He said \"Well now that we've all made the connection,
I hope everybody was usin' protection\",
And they all started laughin' because of course nobody had,
Snot's mom, Greg and Stelio, and this new couple Gina and Chad,
They was all just laughin',
Just gigglin' and laughin',
And we snuck out while they was laughin'-

\"Steve I don't know why you're telling me this now, and I don't know why you're singing the whole story, but your dad and Roger are about to play in the finals\"
\"Okay singing may have been a bad choice but that's a crazy story right?\"

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