Life is a dish, best served hot, And a dish is a book with a menacing plot, And a plot is a song, dipped in sauce, That was simmered in a pan with a demi-glaze, I'm just a kid, in a candy shop, Of culinary dreams that can't be stopped, On a search for the perfect ingredients, To post on my social medias.
You are pathetic, we're not photogenic Hurry it up we're getting cold, Come down here and taste us, don't humiliate us, No one gives a damn bout what you post
Artisan bread, dipped in artisan cheese, dipped in artisan nuts, dipped in artisan greens, Artisan heirloom radicchio, This carpaccio's f***ing ridiculo, A little foie gras and tuna tartare Black truffle butter chickweed, ha ha ha! I'm just a guy with a camera, In your feed with foods as my canvassa, Lobster bisque buttered lightly See you in the bowl and need you inside me I love soup - don't call me a Nazi I'm more like culinary paparazzi Or gastronomic Annie Leibowitz Can't see the food, could you move your tits? It's unthinkable to dine out and not record it Want the world to know I can f*cking afford it
Don't take my picture, don't put me on twitter Just get it over with and eat You could not be dumber, get off of Tumblr I'm more than just a piece of meat
I want lucious cupcakes but can't do gluten Broke out in hives from a mere fig newton A sick addiction to Ramsey's kitchen I can't stop lickin my television One day the phone rang, was truly blessed I won a contest to be on Runway Chef A show about a model who also makes food Seemed appropriate, I be in the nude, She was stuffing and tossing and dripping sauce I was shooting and looting and gitting lost In the moment of foregone purity Got escorted out by security Walked down the stairs, then out of nowhere Came a big pretentious grizzly bear He snapped a pic and then dined on me Oh what a tale of irony
Don't take my photo, you brown furry mofo The pain in my heart is very real I need a martini, I feel like sashimi You gave me the raw end of the deal