I broke my promise on a very sharp rock And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep And that’s how I learned how to survive
And I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking And I gave some sauce to my bestest friend for cooking And I gave water to all I thought were thirsty And that’s how I learned how to survive
I gave my money to the bank for safe keeping And I gave my money to my landlord he was needing it And I gave attention to the T.V. that was bleeding And that’s how I learned how to survive
But if you ain’t got the do-re-mi boys If you got the do-re-mi Well you better go back to beautiful Texas Oklahoma, Kansas, Georgia, Tennessee California’s a garden of Eden, a paradise to live in or see But believe it or not you won’t find it so hot If you ain’t got the do-re-mi
And we totally ripped off a man named Woody Gutherie And I bought a restaurant for his son named Alice And I fed false information to the audience And that’s how I learned how to survive
And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me And I give a finger to my step-father for beating me And I give props to myself for achieving And god damn I’m glad that I survived And god damn I’m surprised that I survived
We just handed you a giant load of gibberish And I give love to a lover quite deserving of it And I give thanks to all of you for listening To the story of how we learned how to survive