We said: Finding solutions is making decisions. I came home from this long killing journey. My glimpse through the window, landscape stole my tears but wasn’t tricky enough.
I was alone, nobody out there. No one back in my mind who gives me vigor and nobody says: You’re not forsaken. Then I was alone, nobody out there.
My stomach absorbed itself and engulfs me in its vacuum. I couldn’t handle reality when I forced my mind to say: This loving is over, it never comes back to you again. This loving is over, it never comes back to you again
Then I was alone, nobody out there. No one back in my mind who gives me vigor and nobody says: You’re not forsaken. Then I was alone, nobody out there.
And I was hating myself for always searching for reasons that were not here. My thinking didn’t stop: there will be no next. And I travel through the past. Banishing memories from my mind. I perceive angry thoughts, calling you guilty, blaming myself. Getting no message, no call in the night. I won’t wake up from my destructive fettle. Please give me hope for my next days.