+Antony Of Egypt - 2016 - Family Tree (EP) - 01. Arctic Shaman | Текст песни

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• +Antony Of Egypt - 2016 - Family Tree (EP)
• 01. Arctic Shaman

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I was conceived by true Love & utter beauty,
from a being who knew ghosts existed
though no one listened, but he still talked to them & persisted,
though his father the Navy officer
beat the shit out of each and every one of his children very often,
well, except his favourite,
& molested & raped the ones
who didn’t scream loud enough to make him cease,
so they called my father crazy, diagnosis Bipolar,
but he suffered in silence daily,
& walked a lonely road from an Inuit shaman
to a scholar defending their cause
& being rejected by academia,
but he fell in love with a woman
with a family so oppressed by Catholic Christians
that when she had these visions of angels
telling her she was chosen and had a strangely compelling Destiny,
she coldly told them, no, go away, & wailed stressfully
thinking who are these strange angels of a deathly odd God
whose beastly priests told her Native grandmother
who hid her ancestry because of racists like Klan lovers
that she had to have at least a dozen children... or she'd suffer Hell
and for her other grandmother that twelfth child killed her...
but despite this my mother kept fighting,
her father told her why try, just smile & be a secretary,
nobody loves a vegetarian,
eat meat & stop being so scared of everything,
kids at school were abusive & rude too
& thought she was foolish
but who schooled who when she got her doctorate
& grew to be a translator & a feminist dystopian literature scholar,
so these two beings collided & grew a being from inside them
fated to be a beaming & smiling child...
only he was born into poverty
cause neither of both of them could get a proper job
since no one really wants an anticolonial scholar in academia,
I found that out recently the hard way...
so they starved and fought because the father thought
the child was born as an angel and a shaman
and the mother thought this was too strange and odd
because of patriarchy's deranged God she was taught of,
so they argued and argued and violent talk became more,
I could talk of a lot of strange lore, a lot more, but I may not...
I'll focus instead on how this hole between both of them
gained in depth until they gave up and split,
and the father went crazy & dipped
after fathering a second baby from another goddess
in the midst of Bipolar Mania & Depression,
never to be seen or heard of again...
yet still very much thought of...
so the mother being responsible did what all mothers did
& raised the kid with Love and hugs and lots of affection,
and tried to give him the best of everything...
but the grandfather now a commander got him in his grip
since nobody had talked of the violence and abuse,
since silence is much more beautiful than truth
to those that are duped into these views
& meanwhile the mother sent him
to the best private and ghastly schools
which ironically were all Catholic too
and so the cycle of past abuse was restarted...
and all the kids laughed at him
& made him the bleak martyr,
they played their favourite game on the playground
where they all had a name and he was the monster who chased them,even the profs & nuns degraded him
regardless of his awesome grades & amazing grace,
they called him a spawn of Lucifer
because he wrote backwards with his left hand
so they slapped him to correct his manners
with abusive righteousness till he used his right,
but they were truly right & he was wrong,
he Was the spawn of Lucifer,
the devil's child to a devilishly vile & truthless throng
of toxic gossiping colonial beings,
if only he had known and seen this
as clearly as he does now at the time,
maybe he wouldn't have smiled at his mom
rather than crying and told her the whole truth instead
however truly dreadful...
meanwhile he played piano half the day
since back in the days at the age of 3
with the swagger of a dainty damsel
& his mother made him practice
till he became the youngest lad in the city
to enter the conservatory of music,
they already viewed him
as the next Carnegie Hall prodigy at the age of 10
but he rather favoured skateboarding, rap and graffiti,
so eventually the kid grew & predicted
he would diss every crew & kid that picked on him
& become the biggest criminal that ever dawned,
& wrote raps about marijuana & society's lies,
they tried to fire him from high school,
I mean, they kicked him out for his haikus,
but he silently moved to another province with his mom
& became the thug he always knew that he was,
started doing more drugs & dealing them,
thug life was appealing
& he didn’t even know about the Goddess Kali yet,
so his odyssey started but at the time so did his mind
in its unwinding & startling lack of silence
& accurate tidings & thoughts,
the voices became stronger with the ganja & coke,
nobody ever told him about the difference between THC and CBD
or any illegal construct because all the doctors in this society
were either incompetents or liars
bought by pharmaceutical misers
trying to rule & confine us with horrors & abusive science,
so the delusional Tony Montana
became a loonie bin monster once again,
strange how the loop is endless,
in and out of the psych ward
his mother tried hard to keep him in university
but nearly a decade of pursuing this with his curses and no degree,
so little glee and control in his mind
that psychiatrists told her there was no other option
other than to throw him in an asylum out of province
& lock him up with a lot of medication to forever sedate him
& calm the violence in his mind,
no remorse in their views either,
they saw no hope at all in this skewed demon,
but the mother refused to heed them,
so she kept him & believed in his purpose
kept feeding & nurturing him back to health,
& a few years later indeed he was an Earthling back from Hells,
finished his degree & started his Masters,
working on anticolonial practices in Indigenous literature,
dialect, satire & the Trickster as instruments of Resistance,
yet still like his parents all he could apparently find& inherit as employment was mostly minimum wage jobs,
from staining, varnishing & flooring to car washes & construction,
but now he has a child & after some brief happiness
his goddess is grievously lacking enjoyment,
he has little to offer & littler prospects it seems,
it seems following dreams doesn’t pay much,
doesn’t make enough of a difference
& the stakes are much greater than simply staying persistent,
but the mother keeps believing in his guts and art pieces,
so she tells him get a doctorate,
they'll sponsor you & you can feed your baby,
it seems crazy but he tries it,
what's left for me anyways otherwise, he ponders,
he keeps eying the other side & greener pastures,
fast forward to a year and a half after
he's a published translator of 2 bestselling authors,
an anticolonial scholar and an activist
with so many shows & conferences
he doesn't know when to say no or to stop,
so he keeps going for the stars,
not knowing they're all suffering as oddly as he is
as they glow & shine for us all to enjoy their sorrows & beamings,
the next thing he knows he's so much of an activist
that his baby's mom & her dad
along with half of his department it seems
are actively trying to hack away
at his artful dreams like heartless beings,
but all his thoughts regardless
as he watches all these scenes
of the act he's but a small part of
are that he wishes a lot of happiness
and compassion to free them,
because all the god(desses) that fostered and taught him
from his mom to Mystique, Yimmie & Phoenix
told him that Love conquers all
& what streams from inside you
is reflected in all that you see
& you cannot offer dark to the darkness as tidings...
they will scoff it off,
so he will keep following his heart
and rising till he finds the balance
between Peace & Solace
in his gardens & astral asylums,
& keep speaking his art pieces
& fostering mutant youth in Akademies & Islands...

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