Wake up, we probably should talk a little Jacob Why? Because there’s been a major shake up Light the lamp they keep upon the table Yeah, you married me instead of Rachel You want me to Wear a veil and never put the shades up? You want me to Try to starve and find a way to shape up? You want me to Drive to Egypt get myself a facial? You want me to? Oh, I don’t think you trust in my shelf-life as your new bride I tried but Rachel’s the perfect size! Wake up, Laban, you’re in trouble this is Jacob Open up the door or it’ll break up Why’d you give me Leah ‘stead of Rachel Yeah you know she ain’t no Charlie’s Angel (You wanted to) Even if she puts on lots of make-up (Put fun into) Leah’s face could scare away your hiccups (My honeymoon) I’ve seen better faces on a bagel (I’ll punish you) Why don’t we discuss this nice Downsize your foolish pride Why fight? I gave you the first in line And I threw in a concubine All right – for Rachel just serve me twice Father! Father! Father! Father! Father it’s too intense; I can’t stand to hear it Father you knew the plan – Why did you give Jacob me? In disguise so secretly? Is there no escape for me? It’s my heart you’re breakin’, please no! Brushed aside – Now I’m just doin’ time I cry while Jacob diversifies Can’t lie – she’s such a cutie pie Why try – when Rachel’s the perfect bride