we call it relating, we call it hoping, we call it dealing, we call it understanding, we pretend we don't feel... the words behind our words... going anonymously.. with each others reach... maybe if my heart could slow down. we kept her alive by denying ourselves in memory it is as follows...... wearing her fingers to the bone on the knots she wove her own... maybe if i swallow, maybe it could freeze, and these veins remain blue forever.......... curse this disease forever..... right now my body only feels one way, and directions aren't available..... our transparencies criss cross like car crashes............ this life lies body lies so far from wreck... maybe if i swallow...