So I'm in the airport getting ready to leave Heading to a friends wedding in the NYC But my head has been spinning I'm forgetting to eat All this jet setting has really been getting to me
It's already 11:20 and I'm ready to sleep But instead I end up sitting in the 27th seat an isle seat Fine by me but the guy that's insides always trying to pee With a wild child behind that's crying And keeps flipping out and kicking at me While it violently screams
So I silently plead "Oh God Please let there be a hunny sitting 27B" But of course a morbidly obese beast Is in the seat that weeses when it breathes
Dude sitting D is at least three deep And he keeps telling me what is wrong with his knees Osgood schlatters Just need water but for a bottle they charge two dollars And when I thought that it couldn't be worse, I forgot my iPod
I'm having a bad day Nothing ever seems to go my way Everybody needs to go away Why because I'm having a bad day
And it just keeps going and it just keeps And it just keeps going and it just keeps
So four hours of turbulence We land when I'm about to turd my pants But the captain is seat belt fastened So my ass is just passin' gas and at last I escape
When I'm minutes away from clinically insane I make my way towards baggage claim When I hear a high pitched voice scream my name [From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/a/asher-roth-lyrics/bad-day-lyrics.html] (Asher) Some dumb bitch, I went to high school with
While she's sweating she's telling me she likes my shit I just smile and think how great it would be If I could just hit this chick with a quick leg sweep (Leg sweep)
So I pick up my LL bean And B line for the next taxi In need of weed and boxer briefs But my bags only got maxis
I'm having a bad day Nothing ever seems to go my way Everybody needs to go away Why because I'm having a bad day
And it just keeps going and it just keeps And it just keeps going and it just keeps
I check into my hotel room And I pick up my cell phone to dial the groom Tell him my mood and how I'm ordering food And I'm probably gonna stay in and watch a movie
But the tube has no HBO so anything I want Yo, I'm paying for but I'm lame and broke So I'm laying in a robe Watching that Little People Big World show
Right then there's a knock at the door It's my last hope for a Spanish whore Who will change my sheets in exchange for penis "Hi, I've lost my cock, have you seen it?"
Jesus, this day is the worst At least I can give me a little jerk And then go to sleep healthy and diseaseless
I guess it could be worse But I'm just having a bad day Nothing ever seems to go my way Everybody needs to go away Why because I'm having a bad day
And it just keeps going and it just keeps And it just keeps going and it just keeps