I have 36 expressions Sweet as pie and tough as leather And that's six expressions more Than all them Barrymores put together Instead of just kicking me Why don't they give me a lift Well, it must be a plot 'Cause they're scared that I got such a gift Well I'm miffed 'Cause I'm the greatest star I am by far But no one knows it Wait, they're gonna hear a voice A silver flute They'll cheer each toot ( Yeah, she's terrific!) When I expose it! Now can't you see to look at me That I'm a natural Camille As Camille I just feel, I have so much to offer (Hey listen kid I know I'd be divine because ...) I'm a natural cougher [coughing sounds] Some ain't got it, not a lump I'm a great big clump of talent! Laugh, they'll bend in half (Did you ever hear that story about the traveling salesman?) A thousand jokes (Stick around for the chokes) A thousand faces, I reiterate When you're gifted Than you're gifted These are facts I got no ax to grind He, what are you blind? In all the world so far, I'm the greatest star No autographs please [spoken] Do you thing beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever What if I say not, any minute now there' gonna be out Finished than it'll be my turn [sung] Who is the pip with pizazz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamorous as? Who's an American beauty rose, With an American beauty nose, And ten American beauty toes, Eyes on the target and wham One shot one gunshot and bam? He mister Keeney here I am
I'm the greatest star I am by far but no one knows it! That's why I was born I blow my horn Till someone blows it I'll light up like a light Right up like a light I'll flicker, then flare up, ah, ah! All the world's gonna stare up Looking down you'll never see me Try the sky 'cause that'll be me! I can make them cry I can make them sigh Some day they'll clamor for my drama Have you guessed yet, who's the best yet? If you ain't I'll tell you one more time You bet yer last dime In all of the world so far I am the greatest, greatest star!