Nobody Makes A Pass At Me (from "Pins and Needles")
Nobody Makes A Pass At Me
I want men that I can please That I can squeeze, that I can tease Two or three or four or more What are those fools waiting for? I want love and I want kissing I want more of what I'm missing
Nobody comes knocking at my front door What do they think my knocker's for? If they don't come soon there won't be anymore What can the matter be?
I wash my clothes with Lux My etiquette's the best I spend my hard-earned bucks On just what the ads suggest Oh dear, what can the matter be? Nobody makes a pass at me
I'm full of Kellogg's bran I eat grape nuts on the sly The date is on the can Of the coffee that I buy Oh dear, what can the matter be? Nobody makes a pass at me
Oh, Beatrice Fairfax Give me the bare facts How do you make them fall? If you don't save me The things the Lord gave me Never will be any use to me at all
I sprinkle on a dash Of Fragrance d'Amour The ads say 'Makes Men Rash' But I guess their smell is poor Oh dear, what can the matter be? Nobody makes a pass at me
I use Ovaltine and Listerine Barbasol and Musterole Lifebuoy soap and Flit So why I not got it?
I use Coca-Cola and Marmola Crisco, Lesco and Mazola Exlax and Vapex So why ain't I not got sex?
I use Albolene and Maybelline Alka-Seltzer, Bromo-Seltzer Odorono and Sensation So why ain't I not got fascination?
My Girdles come from Best The Times ads say 'They're Chick' And up above I'm dressed In the brassier of the week, oh Oh dear, what can the matter be? Nobody makes a pass at me
I use Pond's on my skin With rye-crisp I have thinned I get my culture in I began 'Gone With The Wind' Oh dear, what can the matter be? Nobody makes a pass at me
Oh Dorothy Dix Please, show me some tricks Please, I want some men to hold I want attention and things I can't mention And I want them all before I get too old
I use Mum everyday and Angelus Liplure But still men stay away just like Ivory soap I'm 99 and 44, one hundred percent pure What can the matter be? Nobody makes a pass at me I don't know, oh dear