I'll tattle a tale that is terribly true. Stated out as a rumor, but suddenly grew. And it deals with a man, and a horse, and a ring. So settle on in and our song we shall sing.
It happened one day in a ring by a farm Some that tragically brought us much harm How could a place abundant with charm Create such a beast with a spear for an arm.
On death and destruction is what you will get When he's coming for you and in your kilt you will wet. And he's big and he's strong and its quite plain to see. That this is the Tale of the Nukelavee.
Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee You're big and evil and heinous Who could it be who set you free? He really must be an anus.
Oh Nukelavee it's easy to see the terror you leave is raining on me. The village is burned and the taverns are missed and the beer is all gone and the elders are pissed.
And if they ever should find the fool We'll hang him upside down by his tool And spin him around until he gets sick Ooh! Aah! Oh, that should do the trick.
Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee The terror you offer is high class Who could it be who set you free? He really must be a dumbass.
Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee The horror you furnish is widespread Who could it be who set you free? He really must be an ox-head.
Now everyone knows no blood should spill In the sacred ring by the farm on the hill And if that ever happen the Death you should fear. He'll kick in your nuts and he'll server them with beer.
So one final thought before I depart, And this my friends comes straight from the heart. We'd all be fine if not for that bell And that horse killing wanker that opened up hell.
Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee We cannot win we must admit Who could it be who set you free? He really must be a dimwit.
Nukelavee! Oh Nukelavee You're big and evil and heinous Who could it be who set you free? He really must be an anus.