This is a song that I wrote about my ex Yeah that’s right it’s me, it’s Selena Gomez Even though we broke up I still want to have sex No! Then why the hell are you still here in my bed? Good question! This sounds just like an Ed Sheeran song Cos I’m too busy apologizing to write songs alone so called this red-haired weirdo Cos he knows how to write a hit Even though he looks like a drunk troll doll and Rupert Grint Hooked up and a had a kid Just said, Ed let’s write a tune it will be fun And I knew if it was a hit I’d make a ton So even though he’s kind of a douche I wrote him this pretty song but he’s so dumb He got the meaning of it wrong
What do you mean? I know what it’s about It’s about learning how to love yourself Because sometimes You can’t Convince your ex to bone you So you have to love yourself
I need to find myself some privacy Cos I can’t wait to get back to loving me Are you serious? Dude the lyric ‘Love yourself’ doesn’t mean masturbate Ai yi yi Mister Bieber! Oh my God it’s the maid.
Guess I better put my dong away Now my maid is traumatized so I better give her a big tip I already got it Shit now all of my lotions’ gone And my hand’s dry so I need something to rub my dick with Hey I’ll check the kitchen
If you’re coming in here you better not be nude I’m just looking for something I can use as lube Justin that’s not what this song’s about! By the way why are you still here in my house? Good question! Listen see, this song is about
I’m sorry that I screamed I’ve changed my mind Mister Bieber show me your ding-a-ling What the hell Justin surprise it’s me You’re dad, I need more money Damn what do you feed that thing? Wow!
Dad please stop staring at my cock and balls It’s not fair yours is so big mine is so small Dad that’s really weird Aren’t you kind of scared of that thing? No not at all Oh my god I think I finally understand this song
Mister Bieber you can have sex with me Cos then you will not have to love yourself This moron still does not understand this song’s lyrics Argh I want to kill myself! Justin I’ve decided we should get back together I love you and no one else Selena you’re a bitch and I found someone better so you can go fuck yourself
I finally understand the true meaning of this song It means you should fall in love with yourself And in term, be sexually aroused by your own reflection Hey yo… Dad! Ya son! Hand me your lube! Hell ya. I’ma be here for a while. I watch! I watch! God damn it! No, that’s not what this is about, Justin! I can’t take this anymore. You know what this song is not even about Selena Gomez. I’m going back to England. Baby… baby… baby… Aaaa-chiwawa