as i lay in bed i put my hand out above me and envision every finger crumpling back into the stump i follow the natural progression of this motion down my arm and try to imagine my other limbs withdrawing too i try to feel the energy of my body if there is any i feel it radiating around my torso and i try to pull it in towards a center point a tiny focused dot a fleck of dust hanging in the air a thought interrupts and i almost lose my focus the outside world presses down just a little too hard and my skin almost breaks like a rock-thrown pond i close my eyes i hold my breath i desolidify