The books you think I wrote are way too thick. Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick? And I don't watch you when you sleep. Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep
You're not going to heaven Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you? None of you are going to heaven There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
You shouldn't abstain from rape just 'cause you think that I want you to You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do (Pretty obvious, just don't fucking rape people, please, didn't think I had to write that one down for you)
I don't think masturbation is obscene It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen You make my job a living hell and I sent gays to fix overpopulation And boy did that go well
You're not going to heaven Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns None of you are going to heaven You're not my children You're a bad game of Sims
You shouldn't abstain from pork just 'cause you think that I want you to You can eat pork 'cause why the fuck would I give a shit? (I created the universe, think I'd draw the line at the fucking deli aisle?)
You argue and you bicker and you fight Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night Over what they think is true But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven Knowing any day might be the day that you die But maybe life on earth could be heaven Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try
[2x] My love's the type of thing that you have to earn And when you earn it you won't need it
I'm not gonna give you love just 'cause I know that you want me to If you want love then the love's gonna come from you