Love songs used to be so beautiful "Let us go then you and I, when the evening spread out against the sky Like a patient etherized upon a table" - T.S Eliot
Nowadays, thanks to corporately owned pop stars, love songs are even more beautiful! How beautiful are today's love songs? I'll show you.
[VERSE 1] I love your hair I love your name I love the way you say it I love your heart and you're so smart, 'cause you gave away it I love your sis' I love your dad I love your mum But more than all of that I love the fact that you are dumb enough (SWAG!) To not realize everything I've said has been said before In a thousand ways in a thousand songs, some with the same four chords But you'll still love it, let me finger you (finger you?) Yeah, finger you. FINGER YOU!
[CHORUS] Oh girl, I hope you don't think that I'm rude When I tell you that I love you boo I also hope that you don't see through This cleverly constructed ruse Designed by a marketing team Cashing in on puberty and low self-esteem And girls' desperate need to feel loved (Loved? Loved! Loved! Please, love me!)
America says we love a chorus But don't get complicated and bore us Though meaning might be missin' We need to know the words after just one listen so Repeat stuff [x10] Repeat stuff! Ye-e-e-ah repeat stuff!
[VERSE 2] I love my baby and you know I couldn't live without her But now I need to make every girl think this song's about her Just to make sure that they spread it like the plague So I describe my dream girl as really really vague, like "I love your hands 'cause your fingerprints are like no other I love your eyes and their blueish-brownish-greenish color I love it when you smile, that you smile wide And I love how your torso has an arm on either side" Now, if you're my agent you might be thinking, "Oh no, sound the alarms You're not appealing to little girls who don't have arms" But they can't use iTunes, so fuck 'em, who needs them?!
[CHORUS] Yes, repeat it! Repeat it 'till the day you die!
[INTERLUDE] I'm in magazines full of model teens, so far above you So read them and hate yourself, and pay me to tell you I love you (Whispering: I love you) And your parents will always come along, because their little girl is in love And how could love be wrong? How could love be wrong? When you Repeat stuff [x22]
[ENDING] We know it's not right, we know it's not funny But we'll stop beating this dead horse when it stops spitting out money