What If EMINEM Did Jingle Bells? (Unreleased 2004)
[Bob Rivers:] Yo, yo
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jinglin' all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride From Detroit to East LA
[Bob Rivers as Eminem:] Is this a white Christmas? Hell no, my man I'm leavin' blood in the snow and smacking fat men You mean Santa? That boy's a bitch He caught my mom Christmas eve and tried to give her a kiss Fo' real, he's no joke, the guy don't play He tried to ride way more than a one-horse sleigh Laughing all the way, but he's not laughin' today We'll jingle more than his bells, even the elves will pay COME CHRISTMAS EVE, OLD NICK'S A GONNER! We'll be snacking on deer, EATIN' Blitzen and Donner Not a question of when, not even a maybe Have a drunk Mrs. Clause sayin' Jiggle it, Baby! Give a new meaning to Ho, ho, ho Shake that ass, girl, bumpin' booty in the snow So watch out Santa, you jolly old troll We'll be strippin' that sleigh and leave you the coal
[Girl as Dina Rae:] Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jinglin' all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jinglin' all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride From Detroit to East LA
[Bob Rivers as Eminem:] Playing reindeer games, hell yeah my friend Grab Rudolph's horns, and see how far they bend
When his nose turns red, his ass gets sent Back out to the woods with his faggy elf friends Oh, Santa Claus wouldn't list me as nice In fact, he'll have me listed as 'naughty' twice Not 'cause' of the fight, or the Christmas gift heist, But Because of all the nog I left on his wife It's time for old nick to move and retire 'Fore we roast his nuts on a big ass fire Yes I'm that bad, Yes, I'm that crude I mean your ass is huge, lose weight, for real dude All the cookies and milk, simply quite sick I mean, when's the last time you seen your dick I don't mean to throw a fit and I'm not one to bitch But every year I get underwear, socks, and shit
[Girl as Dina Rae:] (Bob Rivers as Eminem:) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jinglin' all the way (check it out) Oh, what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey (yeah) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jinglin' all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride From Detroit to East LA (yo) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride in a drop top Chevrolet, hey (yo, yo) Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingling all the way Oh, what fun it is to ride From Detroit to East LA