If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it, Chattin' with a chimp in chimpanzee, Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah, What a neat achievement it would be!
If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages, Maybe Take an animal degree, I'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle, Alligator, guinea pig, and flea!
I would converse in polar bear and python, And I would curse in fluent kangaroo, If people ask me "can you speak rhinoceros?" I'd say "of courserous! Can't you?"
If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal, Think of the amazing repartee If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals, Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals, And they could squeak and skwawk and speak and talk to us!
If I consult with the quadrupeds Think what fun we’d have, asking for the crocodiles for tea! Or maybe lunch with three lions, walruses and sea lions What a lovely place the world would be!
If I spoke slang to orangutans The advantages any fool on earth could plainly see! Discussing Eastern art and dramas With intellectual llamas That’s a big step forward you’ll agree!
I’d learn to speak in antelope and turtle And my Pekinese would be extremely good If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus I’d say “whynotamous?” and I would!
If I could parlay with pachyderms It’s a fairy tale worthy of Hans Anderson and Grimm A man who walks with the animals and talks with the animals Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the animals and they could talk to *me*!
I’d study every *living* creature’s language So I could speak to all of them on site If friends said “can he talk in crab or pelican?” You’d say “*like hell he can” and you'll be right!
And if you just stop to think of it there's no doubt of it I would win a place in history If I could walk with the animals Talk with the animals Grunt no word here squeak and squawk with the animals And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to me!