[Spoken]: One, two, three, kick! Come on everybody, clap your hands Ooh, you're looking good Are you having a good time? I sure am Do you like soul music? (No) Well, do the trouser press, baby! One, two three!
[Sung] Trouser press fever! Wooh! Trouser press fever! Wooh! Trouser press fever! Wooh! Trouser press fever! Wooh! Give it all you can It's much better than A pre-fabricated concrete cold bunker!
[Spoken]: You're so savage, Roger. Press those trousers! Ecstasy boost, ecstasy
[Sung] The coffee increases shirt crease Turn up for the books now Trouser it to me Don't hang me up now (Cheering)
[Spoken]: The programme you have been listening to is a one-act play in eight parts by G. G. Dunnett for eighteen albatrosses and reservoir. The part of Old Bill was played by a frying pan. The other part of Old Bill was played by Sir Rupert Carpet who found a pair of swimming trunks on his head and was surprised... (fades out)