LYRICS: In the olden days of yore, this kingdom was barren and cloaked in darkness Until Erdrick (Noble knight!) Used balls of light to set the kingdom right And you, as his descendant, are fated to defend it Go fight! Bring back the light! O, Dragon Warrior!
The princess must be rescued soon (preferably this afternoon) The ball of light must be returned (but at the moment you’re a noob) You may be brave but you’re a small, weak rube, You’ve got so much Xp to earn (So get your ass out there and grind) Gotta grind, gotta grind, gotta grind it Lotta stuff, lotta stuff, gotta find it Sit down and commit now to legit rounds of outwitting shitclowns Gotta grind, gotta grind, (Break it down now!) (You gotta grind!) Lotta stuff, lotta stuff, gotta find it Keep an open mind when in a bind ‘cause who knows what’s behind it
In this game everything takes a really long time Holy balls! Don’t you know that there’s stairs there? At this pace, it’s a slow and deliberate climb SLOW MY GOD... like a snail with a walker This game’s hard, you get mad and controllers are flung Where the fuck are these magical doodads? How did kids have the patience to deal with this dung? Jeezy Cripes, how did anyone play this?
Don’t be discouraged, just read Nintendo Power Or call the Nintendo Power Line number, Or just get the strategy guide! Now they’ve got more of your cash, but you have the power to slay a dragon! For a little extra dough, you’re in the know Ya fuckin' run the show This quest was just a cunning attempt to make more money They win, you paid again! That’s Dragon Warrior.