What Would You Do? (If a Shark Started Eating You)
What would you do If a shark started eating you? If you're swimming around In the lake downtown And he tries to have a bit of a chew? Would you try to resist The massive jaws of the fish? You could lose your legs But I s’pose that’s the risk.
Or you could just let him swallow you whole Then curl up into a ball And when you’re deep down inside You stick a knife in his side And then just crawl out alive. Or, or if you don’t have a knife Wait till he opens his mouth And try to quickly swim out.
They’re all potential ideas For when the big shark appears. Just be prepared Or you’ll end up dead.
Now what would you do If a monkey started eating you? If you were down at the zoo Going: “Oh look, he’s so cute.” And he tried to take a bite out of you? I heard a monkey bit a woman’s face off And pulled off her hands. It’s true - it was in the news. So what would you do If it happened to you And you had no face or hands? It’s ruined all your plans To be a hand and face model.
You can’t call 999 ‘Cause you haven’t got the time And you haven’t got hands anyway So you’ll have to find another way. You can’t just scream and shout ‘Cause the monkey ate your mouth. And you can’t just try and kick him - He’ll chew off your legs & nick ‘em.
I’m just trying to be realistic. So if a monkey went ballistic You’d be prepared So you don’t end up dead.
Well what would you do If a snake started eating you? You’re just sat up in the trees Enjoying the breeze And he slithers down to share the view? Well, they vary from species to species. Some will bite you And some will just squeeze (you to death). Either way, you’re gonna get eaten Unless you think quick. You need to grab the nearest stick And do exactly what I tell you.
Just bash it on the head But don’t relax ‘cause it’s not dead. It’s just been temporarily stunned, You’ve still not got the time to run. You need to take hold of it’s tail - That’s pretty much anything covered in scales. And tie it to a tree And then just peg it before it sees.
I know it may sound audacious But snakes can be really dangerous. So you’d better be prepared Or you’ll end up dead.