Well mama opened up a can of worms today Heard her on the phone trying to think of ways That she could break the news that Santa Claus was fake Mama, you crazy
Just quit your wasting money buying toys for me They're already made -- just you wait and see And come Christmas morning they'll be under the tree, oh So let's be lazy
And poor mama don't believe that there's a Santa Claus She gave up eating chocolate, it must be the withdrawals Or just another side effect of menopause 'Cause how could someone not believe in Santa Claus? Poor mama
Well daddy says we gotta get he roof replaced Where's he gonna land? Or park his sleigh? We should probably wait 'til after Christmas just in case I'll help ya if you pay me
And poor daddy don't believe that there's a Santa Claus He probably got electrocuted deckin' halls Or all the years of smoking things against the law 'Cause how could someone not believe in Santa Claus? Poor daddy
How can little old me be the only rational one? To all of you who've never believed You can take it up with him when he comes
But poor mom and dad don't believe in Santa Claus They need to be in therapy, I mean they seem pretty lost 'Cause Santa was the greatest dude there ever was So how can people not believe in Santa Claus? Poor mama Poor daddy