Our Danny boy He was a ladies man Our Danny boy Oh yes he had a plan To find the perfect bird And no he didn’t mind if he had to try a few along the way Oh no he didn’t mind
He’d cruise around The bars and clubs in town He’d scout the birds He’d look ‘em up and down He’d take his charm and then he’d switch it on He knew which buttons he had to press it didn’t involve no web address
She might look good yeah She might look nice She might have the perfect form But will you still want to squeeze those cheeks when she’s 34?
Extremely literate you know in FHM From nuts to loaded He studies all of them But he doesn’t go near no not the top shelf Cause bringing classy birds back to his flat don’t wana see no filth
Like a young Michael Caine Alfie’s the character Or perhaps a bit more tough, like in “Get Carter”
He’ll pull the women in And then he'll spit them out Unless she’s got a chest like Kelly Brook or Angelina’s pout
She might look good yeah She might look nice She might get inside your head But will she still be your Angelina Jolie when she farts in bed?
Now he’s found the perfect looking bird They’ve moved in it’s 6 months on She’s got the body of a celebrity Lying by him in a thong He thought his plan was flawless He thought he’d had it figured out But after 6 months living with this chick she’s turned into a lout
Because she snores she farts yeah she burps then laughs She leaves her toenail clippings in the bath
And our Danny boy’s thoughts confirm that she won’t even be his other half [He Likes Them Airbrushed