verse 1 [Carnival Cat likes Large Ham] Welcome all My Little Pony friends, Come and stay with me 'til the end. There's just one thing that has to be said, "If you can-not play then you're dead."
verse 2 Look, there's the ticket booth, feed it quickly please, Your gold bits are what it eats... There is so much to see, you will not believe, (the) Parasprites I had last week.
chorus Wander now inside, leave Ponyville behind. If you turn back now a cockatrice you'll find. Say what makes you happy, Say that "da magicks" here. Do not be afraid, 'cause I am not one to fear (for) This is the place where I control all you see, But I want more so come pretty please (with)
reprise verse 1 Me, the Cat of Carnival design. Fillies get in line... YOU'RE MINE!!!
1rst fanfair Applebloom: "But you're a pony!" Carnival Cat: "I am NOT a pony!" Scootaloo: "Well, you look like one..." Carnival Cat: "Do I look equine? These ears you see are definitely of feline nature!" Sweetie Belle: "But what about your mane and tail?" Carnival Cat: "Silence! And let us speak of this never again..."
bridge 1 < Big Brother! >
verse 3 [Carnival Cat gets seductive] Come with me baby so we can set love free. < Love is a foal who will not obey your laws. > Happiness is my guarantee. < Love is a mare with fangs and claws. > So please come here and give me one sweet kiss, < Love is a pony demure and little, > Or you will be left friendless. < Though she is not so brittle. >
verse 4 My love is lonely idle without a spark. < Love is a Cutie Mark that's beyond your reach. > Patiently waiting to devour your heart. < Love is a joke that poisons all the weak. > Sweet music preys on you, my darling baby, < Love is a filly who will ravage your soul, > (so) Please give your love to me, Your Lady! < (since) She dares not ever let you go! >
reprise verse 1 [Carnival Cat goes hammy again] I am waiting saddle up your pride. < Love is waiting, saddle up your pride, > There's no need to run and hide!!! < There's no need to run and hide!!! >
1rst fanfair [Carnival Cat just giggles playfully] < La La La La La La La La La La La-a-a-ah... > < La La La La La La La La La La La-a-ah! >
chorus 2 [What's the Cat planning?] Now that you're with me just sit back and relax. < Sit back and relax... > There is much to do so listen to these facts: < Listen to these facts... > Ponyville is doomed and you've got a front row view. The events in motion cannot be stopped unless you Give yourself up and let your love set me free, + Please come and save us... + Or these three die, their souls paid to me (so)... + ...don't let her take us... +
reprise verse 1 Marry Me, and I shall waste your life. + NO!!! Don't Do It! Please don't waste your life. + Let me be your Little WIFE!!! + Don't make her your little wife! +
2nd fanfair unnamed priest: "Do you, Miss, take this stallion to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Carnival Cat: "Definitely..." unnamed priest: "Do you, Sir, take this mare..." Carnival Cat: "Mare!?" unnamed priest: "Erm...cat? Do you take this "cat" to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Big Macintosh: "Eenope!" Carnival Cat: "Too bad, we're married now..."