I've been ready for hours and I'm wearing my best, Ordered champagne and flowers and you're not even dressed. Tonight's a special night to remember with pride These twenty happy years since you became my bride. It is all too absurd; you're so cross and abrupt, But I don't say a word or you're bound to erupt Your peculiar moods I've experienced before So I pour another drink and quietly pace the floor. It's a quarter to eight as we fretfully wait For your little black dress; that was promised by six. Is it just rotten luck when we're doing the town That the fates should conspire to let us mortals down ? I have seats for a show, and it's opening night My shoes do not fit me and my suit is too tight And you sit there and curse, an occasional curse And I've got a headache that's quickly getting worse.
Happy anniversary, Happy anniversary.
They deliver your frock, but you're still in distress It was past nine o'clock when I helped you to dress. I tried to do you up but it wasn't my day For then to fill my cup, your zipper stuck half way I got all in a sweat, over anxious and vexed. Will I ever forget the thing that happened next Your dress just came apart with one terrible tear Your disappointed cries were more than I could bear. At eleven, at last, when we got into town We arrived at the show but the curtain was down. I suggested a bite but no, no, you wanted to walk You had no appetite and no desire to talk. So we strolled for an hour and the evening was sweet And I bought you a flower from a man in the street. And we kissed on the sidewalk, without reason or rhyme Where we knew that our love is stronger than time.