(Chelsea team talking) Sshhhh it’s the gaffer (Door slams) (Jose M) If you call that a performance of champions, I am not looking at champions, (Chelsea team) All right gaffer (Jose M) No it is not right gaffer (Chelsea talks quietly) Shut up Makele, I am the manager of this team, And who am I? (Chelsea team) You are the special one! (Jose M) Yes I am the special one, But that performance was not special, It made me laugh And champions should not make me laugh, If I want to laugh maybe I listen to Damien doing car insurance ad, Damien do it, make me laugh now (Damien Duff) I Bramian car insurance, pretty good. (Sniggers) (Jose M) Yeah, very funny, Now Drogba, first half perfetic, (Drogba) No no no no gaffer don’t sub me, (Jose M) If you want I can replace you? (Drogba) No no! (Jose M) I can replace you, it’s no problem, I can do it amazon.co.uk Search word: Rooney 35 ½ million, No problem, I can do it, Do you want me to push buy? (Drogba) No no no please gaffer (Jose M) Do you want me to push buy? (Drogba) No! (Jose M) Then listen to the special one, (Drogba) Ok ok ok, Ok, second half vocal exercises, Midfield now (snap) WOHO! Very good very good, Defence (snap) bleak and vocal WOHO! Very good, You are ready I think, (Chelsea team excited) (Jose M) Ok ok ok, It’s time for the song, (Chelsea team celebrate) Last week sshhhh… Shut up Drogba, Last week we beat Arsenal, And I did for you don’t look back at Wenger, (Chelsea team) Don’t look back at Wenger! (Jose M) S Shut up Damien shut up, This week I do for you ‘the special one’ (Chelsea team) You are the special one! (Jose M) I know, I know I am the special one, But this week is a very special song, (Tune starts) And this one is called Jose and his amazing technicolor overcoat, (Lyrics for the song) I close my eyes, And stand there grinning, WOHO! We can’t stop winning, WOHO! You’d be grinning too, And when I first came, (When he first came!) I was delighted! WOHO! Could of managed united, WOHO, But anything will do, I wore my coat, (He wears his coat!) The world is merry, WOHO! I got John Terry! WOHO! And Drogba too! (GO ON DIDIER!) (Says) very good (Sings) I switched the round, (He switches round) They are all hating, WOHO! I like rotating, WOHO! But anything will do, (GO ON GAFFER!) A corner kick, Is just enough, A little flick from Damien Duff, (GO ON DAMIEN!) (DUFFER!) It flies right into the net, And we are One - Nile up! (ONE – NILE! X4) May I return? (May I Return?) To the beginning, WOHO! So easy winning, WOHO! When you’re team is blue, (BLUE IS THE COLOUR!) We can’t go on, (We can’t go on) We are in hevan, WOHO! Putting out whatever eleven, Any team will do, (YEEAAHH!) Now go out and be champions, YEAH! Are you champions? YEAH! And you love it? YEAH! And if you don’t do it, You can kill yourselves, YEAH! (from now to the end) You can take that from me! Be Champions!