*He had it coming He had it coming He only had himself to blame If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!
LIZ (Spoken) You know how people have these little habits That get you down. Like... Bernie. Bernie he liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP! So, I came home this one day And I am really irritated, and looking for a little bit of sympathy and there'e Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'... ... Poppin'. So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... ...into his head.
[GIRLS] *
[ANNIE (Spoken)] I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake city about two years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out, "Single" he told me? Single, my ass! Not only was he married ...oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
[LIZ,ANNIE,JUNE,MONA] Hah! He had it coming He had it coming He took a flower In its prime And then he used it And he abused it It was a murder, But not a crime!
[VELMA AND HUNYAK] Pop, six, squish, uh-uh Cicero, Lipschitz
[JUNE (Spoken)] Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, In storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You've been screwin' the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin', "you've been screwin the milkman." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times!
[ALL] If you'd have been there If you'd have seen it I betcha you would have done the same!
[HUNYAK (Spoken)] Mit keresek, én itt? Azt mondják, hogy a híres lakem lefogta a férjemet én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz, én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Probáltam a rendõrségen megmagyarázni de nem értették meg...
[ROXIE (Spoken)] Yeah, but did you do it?
[HUNYAK] UH UH, not guilty!
[VELMA] My sister, Veronica and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie, travelled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row, one two three four,five...splits, spread eagles, back flips,flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show, we're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us, boozin', havin' a few laughs, and we ran out of ice. So I go out to get some. I come back, open the door and there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen- the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead.
They had it coming They had it coming They had it coming all along I didn't do it But if I'd done it How could you tell me that I was wrong?
[MONA] I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences.