All: A gentleman's got a walking stick. A seaman's got a gaff. And the merry men of Robin Hood They used a quarterstaff. On the Spanish plains inside their canes They hide their ruddy swords. But we make do with an old bam-boo And everyone applauds! 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - Hey! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo.
Chorus: When punting on the beautiful Thames
Caractacus: You use a sturdy pole.
Chorus: To protect their fair complexion
Caractacus: Ladies use a parasol.
Chorus: It's useful in the underbrush
Caractacus: To have a hefty spear.
Chorus: Right!
All: But what we do with an old bam-boo Makes everybody cheer! 1 - 2 - 3 - HO! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo 'Ere we go, mate . . .
Caractacus: A flyer in an air-e-o-plane
Chorus: He steers it with a stick
Caractacus: He does?
Caractacus: A collier in the pits o' Wales
Chorus: He leans upon his pick
Caractacus: That's right!
All: Now every wheel of an automobile Revolves around a shaft (HEY!) But what we do with an old bam-boo Makes every one go daft. And 1 - 2 Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. (Dance break) 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - HEY! And a 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - and a 5 and a 6 and a 7 HO! Me ol' bam-boo, me ol' bam-boo You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You can have me hat or me bum-ber-shoo But you'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo. You'd better never bother with me ol' bam-boo!