CURLY:- There was the devil and all to pay. The alleged 'designers' Only had one card left to save the game: Bring her in and cut the brute in half, Put in another gas bag, Make her even longer. And with only three months to do it in, The fun became fast and furious...
Cutting the Lady in Half, Devilish tricky, Took off our coats and worked like hell And a bit over. Took longer than they thought, Same way it always does. It would be a close run thing If she'd be ready...
'Cause her cover had gone all rotten Where the comic boffins had doped it up In a new and different way. Couldn't these birds do anything right?..
They had to replace this mouldy cloth, All five or six acres of it, But there wasn't time to do it all For our October deadline. Well, that was what they said, But they still seemed to find the time To lay down half a ton of carpet Specially ordered by request Of Baron Thomson...
This had to be quite barmy; We were doing all this just to make her light, And now they're weighing her down again. Somebody's mad here, perhaps it's me...
She still hadn't got a Certificate Of Airworthiness, And now the Safety Inspector Dug his heels in. He didn't like the pads. All four thousand of them, That we'd wrapped round the sharp bits That were making the holes, And he wanted proper tests In her new extended form, Otherwise, No Dice. But the Air Ministry overruled him; You could almost hear them...
CHAIRMAN:- If you ask me, some of our flying chaps Are getting to be real old women.
SENIOR COMMITTEEMAN:- Over cautious.
JUNIOR COMMITTEEMAN:- Safety mad.
CHAIRMAN:- I had it from the Minister himself, She's as safe as a house...
CURLY:- The Inspector chap was due to fly with us, But he had the sense to catch the 'flu So he couldn't go. We should all have done the same; We knew it was madness, But no one spoke up; No one was willing to blow the whistle. Truth was we were scared of Thomson, Scared of losing our own, And everyone else's, jobs, Scared of ratting, scared of funking, Too scared to be anything else But jolly brave. Only 'Bird' Irwin had the guts To make a stand...