chusen - Sen's inner monologue | Текст песни

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• Sen's inner monologue

I still remember. Like it was yesterday or two hours ago. It's that kind of memories which you cannot get rid of. Like a poison. I still feel it. Every breath of mine is filled with sorrow and pain. Nothing left. Nobody left. Why am I still here? Why? WHY? I know that it's all my fault. Or not? It hurts. It hurts inside and outside. No light. No hope. It seems like darkness tries to get inside.

“I will always be with you, aniki”.

It hurts so much. My tears taste like blood. Blood. Oh my God. It was everywhere. Blood.
He died first. One shot to the head. Blood.
Then he died. I still hear how cracked his spine. Blood.
She met her death with silence. And he saw it. Blood.
My people. My... friends. She took them from me. She took them all. At once. Damn, it hurts so much.

“Leader, I am told that there are a lot of cuties in that club.. Shall we come in?”

It was sooo weird. Some ugly chick gave him her number and tried to kiss. Stupid Kenji. The red drop fell into darkness. It still hurts. It had never stopped. Is it.. Hell? Reality split into millions of sharp pieces and they both sank under my skin. I can't scream. It's just too late to react or.. apologize. But how? You're all dead because of me. It's too late. For everything. For everyone.

“She is not that young. She is only seventeen!”

I feel the breath of the devil at the back. He is coming closer and closer. But he won't reach me. Never.

“You have become my family, leader”.

Every time I close my eyes, I could see her face. Her pale face covered with blood. It looked like suicide veil in her eyes. Her last words. Her last breath. I'm stuck in this moment. The moment when I’d lost everything. I'd lost my Sun. I'd lost my ground. I'd lost my reason to wake up every day. I loved her. I loved her more than anything in this world. More than this world.
The devil dressed in his favorite costume. I don't remember what happened next. Only her face. At that moment my life was over.

“Could you read for me once more?”

I'd lost her forever. The Devil brought a gift. It’s covered with the black veil and red ribbons. This gift is death. But today is not my birthday. And it will never come.

(c) @lenkken

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