There was Johnny McEldoo and McGee and me And a couple of two or three went on the spree one day We had a bob or two, which we knew how to blew And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay We visited McCann's, Maclaman's, Humpty Dan's We then went into Swan's, our stomachs for to pack We ordered up a feed, which indeed, we did need And we finished it with speed, but we still felt slack
Johnny McEldoo turned red, white and blue As a plate of irish stew he soon put out of sight He shouted out "Encore!" with a roar for some more That he'd never felt before such a keen appetite We ordered eggs and ham, bread and jam, what a cram But him, we couldn't ram, though we tried our level best For everthing we brought, cold or hot, mattered not It went down him like a shot and he still stood the test
He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard, we got scared We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought the bill We told him to give o'er, but he swore he could lower Twice as much again and more before he had his fill He nearly supped a trough full of broth says McGragh "He'll devour the tablecloth if you don't hold him in" When the waiter brought the charge, McEldoo felt so large He began to shout and barge and his blood went on fire
He began to curse and swear, tear his hair in despair To finish the affair, called the shop man a liar The shop man, he threw out and no doubt, he did clout McEldoo he kicked about like an old football Tattered all his clothes, broke his nose, I suppose He would have killed him with a few blows in no time at all Mceldoo began to howl and to growl, by my soul Threw an empty bowl at the shop keepers head It struck ol' Mickey Flynn, peeled the skin from his chin An a ruction did begin and we all fought and bled The peelers did arrive, man alive, four or five At us they made a dive for us all to march away We paid for all the meat that we ate, stood a trait And went home to ruminate on the spree that day;