This holiday, I'm in the trenches But we're both in misery All your gifts are up on Ebay and all my stuff is in the street
This is the hardest time of year to spend alone I'm doing just fine, don't throw me down
Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Celebrate, your trouble's safely miles away I'll be out of sight, out of mind
We'll tithe our wages to the liquor aisle And sing carols of bad intentions Another year, wasted with nothing left But photographs and bitter lessons
God bless us, everyone, but you And that shithead you've found This year I'll tell myself to
Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Celebrate, your trouble's moving out of state
I want him here with a big ribbon on his head I'll look him straight in the eye and tell him What a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing Low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating Inbred, overstuffed, ignorant Blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless Dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass Bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped Worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is, Halleluja!
Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light Celebrate, your trouble's safely miles away I'll be out of sight I'll be out of mind