There is a certain way we move these chains Like a watch in a box that doesn't tell time but instead just gives it It all starts to bleed into miles that separate Or phone calls that aren't on pace Like the chemicals my grandfather gave me Disarrayed and misconstructed The wrong blend But my only vice is the will to give in To the only feeling that has ever felt worth it Excuse-less//trying to figure out what's worth keeping When I don't hate anyone else half as much as myself It numbs in the never ending quiet that burns my eyelids Learning to learn between the lines of "I want you to be free" I want to return to the water To drink in the sex//sleaze//mud//greed Put a gun in the mouth of the sky and just (breathe) Or to where I can bathe in my own conscience Sometimes I wake up in the ER with a needle in my arm Or in the back of a mangled car In the silence before the light comes But it always ends the same with a flood coursing through my veins Trying to find words to lay out the things I could never say The way the world picks at my brain. How I can't watch you leave Blood is blood But as everything comes and everyone goes "love is love Return to dust."