Cold Wind Calling - Black/White | Текст песни

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• Cold Wind Calling
• Black/White

Flashback to December, 2012.
I lie awake at night because I have no other choice.
My chest aches, it hurts.
And I don't know why.
So I find myself making up reasons to justify the fact, but I know deep down that it's because there's something wrong with my brain. It's broken.
And soon as I close my eyes, those demons open theirs and I don't stand a chance. I have never stood a chance.
Those pills can be so tempting sometimes, knowing that a small bottle that lies a few feet away from me has the capability of taking me to place that I so desperately want to go to.
There are too many sharp objects in this room. I might just "slip" and do something I don't want to do like maybe that blood flow could more accurately represent the thoughts flowing in my head. Maybe they wouldn't. Hell, they probably wouldn't, but when you hurt so much inside, it almost feels unnatural to not hurt on the outside as well.
I still have the privilege of having stayed free of physical scars. Something deep inside always prevented me from giving into those urges that I felt so often for so long.
And to be honest, I still get those sometimes, but unlike scars on the outside, I believe that scars on the inside can diminish with time. I have seen this happen; it might take time, it might take a lot of time, but it can happen. And it will, as long as you let it.
Past the misconceptions and the skewed view of this world, when you've been down that road, it actually makes sense. I used to have that same ignorant view of the matter, like why would anyone fall victim to self-harm? But I understand it now.
I never thought I would hear my mother's voice on phone, shaking from the tears, begging me to not harm myself; making sure that she would see me again soon, making sure that she would see me again at all. How do you explain something like that to someone who cares for and loves you so much? The person who brought you into this world? How do you explain something like this to them?
I try to live without regret because in this life, there is no time for regrets and I know that everything I've done, I did because I thought it was the right thing at the time. There is no point in regretting something that you can't fix or change. The past is dead. Let it stay that way.
The past is dead let it stay that way.
You should never be a front row spectator of your past, but rather look at it as if you're on a ship sailing away from an island. In a way, it's like you're looking at it through a telescope. The farther away you get, the harder it is to see. And although you can still see it, an ocean separates you from it now. It can't reach you or hurt you anymore, not like it used to. That ocean is the foundation that you built in order to move on, the effort you poured in to that dedication of truly moving on and getting past this. You remember the days in which you walked upon that shore; when you were too afraid to wade out any further than where the water reached your knees. You had a taste of what might eventually come, but you weren't ready to go out any further, but look at you now. You're on a ship that has embarked on a journey to an unknown, yet beautiful, regardless, place.
And you know what? I'm just glad to say I'll meet you there, I'm just glad to say I'll see you there.