GUY: Look at this Instagram Eggs benedict, side of ham (flipping to a new photo) Started out as a lemon tart Then my phone went and made it art
GIRL: (photo of her intricately-painted fingernails) And these are my fingernails The beauty is in the details (photo of girl holding cocktail; also pushing boobs together with close arms) Drinkin mai-tais on a cruise Just a coincidence it's also boobs
GUY (photo of own feet while lying on the beach) Everyone look at my feet Get jealous that I'm at the beach You prob'ly knew I was going there You saw my plane's wing in the air (photo of plane's wing from inside the plane)
GIRL (photo of tall skyscrapers from the ground) Are you bored of city lights? Try seein' 'em in black and white (same photo in black and white) Puttin' glasses on a cat I'm the first one to think of that!
Oh, oh, oh… He thinks he's people
CHORUS (GUY & GIRL): Every time I take a photo of an old door, Every sign out in front of an abandoned store It's such a thrill to add a filter Lo-fi, lo-fi
Every time a thing reminds me of a penis (photo of a phallic object) Every fortune cookie fortune that I've ever seen is on my feed, it's guaranteed with five likes, five likes
GUY Look at this coffee foam Now look at this pretentious tome (photo of the cover of Infinite Jest) Now look at this garden gnome I'm friggin' Michaelangelo!
GIRL Fireworks in the sky A super close-up of my eye Now a selfie, lookin' cute In the same room where I poop (photo: the classic bathroom mirror self-shot)
GUY Sometimes I just wanna browse A hundred thousand pics of clouds (distracted by a nearby waddling duck, he chases it, holding his phone out) Hang on, I need to get this duck Hold still, goddamn it, f**k!
Oh, oh, no It's all blurry
CHORUS 2 (GUY & GIRL): No you haven't really ever seen a setting sun 'Til you've seen it on the screen where you play Temple Run I'm so hell-bent on documentin' Peach pie, peach pie
Think it's bad now, wait until I'm 33 So many pictures of my kids you'll want to murder me (fumbling with the camera while his child walks in background) Missed their first steps 'cause I'm obsessed with Red-eye, red-eye!