spend most of my nights thinking about what I've done and who I've become. who I've loved and who I've lost. memories that have gone and faded away. I've tried so hard to make sense of everything. I've tried so hard to feel like there is a place for me here. I feel like someone's holding my head under water and I'll never find what I'm looking for. what it is I need to breathe. what it is I need to feel free. I'll choke till I'm dead. not breathing and no thoughts left in this head. I'm choking. I can't breathe. can't think. can't live.
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