Cubbiebear - Number One | Текст песни

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• Cubbiebear
• Number One

It's not the way i wanted to train
Better meta, the redder the gain
This face is leaking, there's too much speaking
Bark is chipping these roots have faded too far for me to know who's fallen first
I felt it worst from my own pride refusing my face could come from dirt
But maybe I'm just as bad as you, maybe I'm judging success on a different curve
And in lieu of any kind of view or problem perception you may have in this half filled cup
Turning to a debate of whether I'm being drank or filled back up, eyes aren't enough
Words don't speak to me anymore, I'm busy being less then what i used to
To feel anything i have to take the few of you who've ever found anything in me beautiful
Let out slight subconscious but useful to my bemused views
Ways to wink at your existence in life as completely unsuitable
This is why they don't love me, carried from my mother all i know
Is five year old dreams of falling till now i've always slept alone
Somewhere down this track, part of me must have known there was no turning back
Not knowing how to act in my dreams have remedied in mornings remembering black
And emotions are brought by pain, if i don't bleed then i don't see
And it's hard enough for me to try to figure out what you all want me to be
Truth is I'm not myself I'm made from a mold that i borrowed slowly from all of you
I was hurt so i can only act like the people who know me
And I'm building myself up to fall again

And i bleed you dry
When all you want me to do is try
And i bleed you dry
Please forgive me
Please forgive me

That's why i call, Nichole, you made me feel like i could belong
To a new family but you don't answer and i don't know what i did wrong except be me
I don't mean to smother but everyone thinks you're beautiful
They only like me when i do this shit, i wish i could be just like you
I can't continue this menu of emotions, all expect me to love
Don't follow the same rules i do, i break but i never give up
You're gonna die one day, I'm gonna die too
And then i"ll regret never knowing how to say this to you
It's for myself, I'm setting myself up to fall again
For my mom cause she'll be gone soon, i know he's calling
You might have been hurt, but i was only five while
You told me you knew you were going to hell, never say that to your child
I would never, i would never, i never thought i'd have to be that clever to get this brain pressure off
All cost i found there's beauty in my delusion it's been years since i been lost
That's unhealthy not to mention forced
I don't know how to start this
Expressing feelings and motives resulting in heartlessness
My acting is draining from where ever my genuine part is
Maybe i learn through ugly affection, you need to stop comparing hardships
It's not a game, stop blaming, i just want to live my life
I'm a grown man, i'm not going to continue being ugly and say its cause i wasn't raised right
Right or wrong, I'll say you did a good job mom.
I love, you need to learn to love back

Building myself up to fall again
Building myself up myself up myself up

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