It's not the way i wanted to train Better meta, the redder the gain This face is leaking, there's too much speaking Bark is chipping these roots have faded too far for me to know who's fallen first I felt it worst from my own pride refusing my face could come from dirt But maybe I'm just as bad as you, maybe I'm judging success on a different curve And in lieu of any kind of view or problem perception you may have in this half filled cup Turning to a debate of whether I'm being drank or filled back up, eyes aren't enough Words don't speak to me anymore, I'm busy being less then what i used to To feel anything i have to take the few of you who've ever found anything in me beautiful Let out slight subconscious but useful to my bemused views Ways to wink at your existence in life as completely unsuitable This is why they don't love me, carried from my mother all i know Is five year old dreams of falling till now i've always slept alone Somewhere down this track, part of me must have known there was no turning back Not knowing how to act in my dreams have remedied in mornings remembering black And emotions are brought by pain, if i don't bleed then i don't see And it's hard enough for me to try to figure out what you all want me to be Truth is I'm not myself I'm made from a mold that i borrowed slowly from all of you I was hurt so i can only act like the people who know me And I'm building myself up to fall again
And i bleed you dry When all you want me to do is try And i bleed you dry Please forgive me Please forgive me
That's why i call, Nichole, you made me feel like i could belong To a new family but you don't answer and i don't know what i did wrong except be me I don't mean to smother but everyone thinks you're beautiful They only like me when i do this shit, i wish i could be just like you I can't continue this menu of emotions, all expect me to love Don't follow the same rules i do, i break but i never give up You're gonna die one day, I'm gonna die too And then i"ll regret never knowing how to say this to you It's for myself, I'm setting myself up to fall again For my mom cause she'll be gone soon, i know he's calling You might have been hurt, but i was only five while You told me you knew you were going to hell, never say that to your child I would never, i would never, i never thought i'd have to be that clever to get this brain pressure off All cost i found there's beauty in my delusion it's been years since i been lost That's unhealthy not to mention forced I don't know how to start this Expressing feelings and motives resulting in heartlessness My acting is draining from where ever my genuine part is Maybe i learn through ugly affection, you need to stop comparing hardships It's not a game, stop blaming, i just want to live my life I'm a grown man, i'm not going to continue being ugly and say its cause i wasn't raised right Right or wrong, I'll say you did a good job mom. I love, you need to learn to love back
Building myself up to fall again Building myself up myself up myself up